EVERYONE loves a sacrifice.

Qurbani (Feroz Khan, 1980)

For a long time – up until like, a few days ago, I had managed to avoid seeing any Feroz Khan films. I don't know precisely what the obstacle was for so long (I certainly own enough of them) but whatever weird prejudice I mistakenly held against one of the original Macho Men of Hindi cinema vanished within a few minutes of the film commencing. 

 

 This film has been sitting unwatched on my shelf since 2010!

Because seriously? This film is A-freaking-MAZING.

Reviews from the time of its release rave about it: in terms of the outstanding performances from Vinod Khanna, Feroz Khan, and particularly Amjad Khan; the beautiful, memorable music, the punchy, well-paced plot and the hilarious, well placed, outrageous action sequences. It was recognised as an instant classic even then – and nowadays, my astonished, blissed-out cries of “How come no-one ever told me to watch this film? It's THE BEST!” have been met, from pretty much every corner, with joyful choruses of “QURBANI! I KNOOOOOW, RIGHT?!”

The thing is: I know there are a lot of people who already have a pretty strong prejudice against “old” Bollywood – where “old” (inexplicably to me) = circa 1995. And let's not get started on the wide-ranging bias that exists against 1980s Bollywood in general. Sure, stereotypes exist for a reason (and let's not get into decade bashing here) BUT I WILL CHAMPION 1980s BOLLYWOOD FOREVER for a reason, too, and that reason is the rare, shining, wonderful gems of the decade that gleam with sparkly, disco-glittery awesometude. Like Qurbani.

Qurbani is, simply put, everything that is wonderful about a certain period in Bollywood film (late 70s, early 80s) distilled into one glorious, excessive, hyper-masculine, superstar-filled, action-packed, super-bromantic, deliberately hilarious entertainment spectacular. Trying to describe exactly why it works is essentially futile: basically – this film doesn't take itself too seriously, nor does it veer too far into parody. It strikes EXACTLY the right notes of slightly over the top kitsch and self-important melodrama; throws in ample equal opportunity eye-candy for the entire audience (seriously, I basically screencapped the entire film) and is three hours of testosterone fuelled, masala laden fun. Make that Fun with a capital “F”.

The cheerfully excessive story of Qurbani (“Sacrifice”) centres on Rajesh (Feroz Khan), a professional burglar (and sometime motorcycle stuntman?) who is romantically entangled with the somewhat more moral nightclub dancer Sheila (Zeenat Aman).

Sheila disapproves of Rajesh's life of crime and his worship of money, and her feelings are totally validated when Rajesh gets caught in the act (following a particularly daredevil car chase) by a tenacious police officer: Inspector Amjad Khan (played by...Amjad Khan!) and is subsequently thrown in jail for three and a half years for burglary.

While Rajesh is serving his time, Sheila meets a dashing single dad – Amar (Vinod Khanna) who falls for her, big time. 

 Is this not THE CUTEST THING you have ever SEEN?

Though Sheila is happy to play surrogate mum to Amar's cute daughter Tina, she doesn't return Amar's mushy puppy-dog eyes and his squishy love heart FEEEEEELINGS for her, which he's pretty stoic about. Maybe Sheila is a LITTLE bit tempted though...but she's already been established as a woman of morals (despite dancing nightly in *gasp* a DISCO CLUB) and her heart belongs only to the absent, criminal Rajesh.

It's just another CLASSIC example of Vinod Khanna getting HEARTBREAKINGLY SHAFTED in popular film and taking it like a man.

Actually though, it's an example of one of the things Qurbani does fantastically well – and that's EPIC MISDIRECTION. Just when you think it's all going to be a classic love triangle with the two brutally handsome, epically macho leading men fighting it out over the sensual Zeenat Aman's affections, Rajesh is released from jail and in a string of filmi coincidences, he runs into Amar and saves him from a violent beating from their – it turns out – shared enemy: the cartoonily shady Vikram (none other than Shakti Kapoor), working in cahoots with his craycray sister who goes by the name of Princess Jwala (Aruna Irani in wicked awesome contact lenses and hamming it up BIG TIME). Vikram and Princess Jwala are part of a crime syndicate working under an amoral, crazy haired boss named Raka (Amrish Puri) – Amar in fact used to work for Raka but left in disgust when he realised that ONLY money meant anything to the crime lord, not human life or loyalty. So that's why Amar is in the shit. Rajesh is on the run from Vikram and Princess J because on his release from prison he accepted a contract to steal for them, and took a cash advance – which Sheila, in her crazy moralising, BURNED TO ASHES and made him vow to go straight. Lacking the money to pay back the advance, unable to burglarise without pissing off his woman, Rajesh is in a slight bind.

Instead of fighting over a woman, Rajesh and Amar discover they have quite a lot in common...and one of the GREATEST BROMANCES IN FILMI HISTORY IS BORN.

 

Basically, from this point on Sheila is relegated to occasional eye candy/a minor supporting character as it becomes ALL ABOUT Rajesh and Amar taking on Vikram and Princess Jwala in the most manly, bromantic, excessive way imaginable.

But I'll tell you why I REALLY REALLY loved this film. It wasn't the fact that it basically starts out with Aruna Irani and Amrish Puri having a contest to see who can out Crazy Eye the other. 

 

It wasn't the abundance of lingering beefcake shots of dreamboat Vinod Khanna, both clothed,

and unclothed.

It's not the abundance of car chases and explosions and helicopters and leaping motorcycles and people climbing places that they shouldn't be.

It's not the sometimes...awesomely double entendre laden subtitles that make my immature mind snort with joy:

or the truly glorious set decoration: 

I'll tell you what made this film so wonderfully enjoyable for me, and took it from “fun” to “all time favourite”.

AMJAD FREAKING KHAN. (Excuse me for a moment, I am going to go a little fangirly). 

 

THIS PICTURE DESERVES A FRAME OF LOVE HEARTS ALL AROUND IT

You might already be aware that I adore the man. I love him. I don't really know how or why or when exactly it started, but if you only know him as Gabbar Singh from Sholay, then Qurbani is definitely a film you need to see, because Amjad Khan (playing a character intriguingly named “Amjad Khan”) is pure unadulterated genius. The guy in his career tended to get typecast as the villain – being a pretty big guy, and having played the greatest film villain in recent Hindi film history, it was always going to happen – but it's kind of sad that following Sholay his filmography is abundant with a bunch of generic B-grade villain roles. Why Qurbani is so great is that he gets to escape that box but also to play with that image a little bit, to mess with the audience's heads. Inspector Amjad Khan of Qurbani is a tenacious, dogged pursuer of justice and is alternately terrifying and intimidating, like the villains Amjad Khan frequently plays,

but also funny and good and goofy and moral.

AND BADASS. Amjad kicks SO MUCH ASS and is SUCH A COOL GUY IN THIS MOVIE - he totally holds his own against the foxy duo of Hot Papa Khanna and eternally leather-clad Feroz Khan. 

It's a little unsettling if you're unaware of it, but also he's HILARIOUS (anyone who has seen Love Story, for example, will know Amjad Khan as a talented comic actor as well). It's one of the best, more complex and well-rounded roles I've seen him in thus far and it is so enjoyable and satisfying to watch. Plus he gets SONGS! Amjad NEVER gets songs! THAT'S HOW COOL QURBANI IS! (and look how much fun he looks like he is having!)