THIS IS GOING TO BE EXTREMELY BORING AND ALSO, INCREDIBLY DORKY, BUT I JUST NEED TO VENT BECAUSE OH. MY GOD. At least you can get an insight into the obsessive mind of an Indian cinema freak.
So – as you may be aware, I’m on summer holidays right now, and in between gallivanting around the glorious countryside working on my (mostly) fake tan and, err, drastically changing my appearance (for those who don’t know, I’m now officially blonde), I decided it was time for my annual attempt at organisation and cleaning.
Today I attempted something I’ve been meaning to do for an EXTREMELY long time: alphabetizing my Indian cinema collection. And it was way more of a mission than I had anticipated, for several key reasons:
1. Last time I attempted this, I had maybe…50 dvds. MULTIPLY THAT BY TEN. Seriously, BY TEN.
2. I am running out of shelf space, (actually, that happened a long time ago with my cds and books – I am kind of a hoarder, and my cds are NEVER in any kind of order, I just know where they are from weird High Fidelity random order memory) so while some of the dvds were ROUGHLY in alphabetical order, there were LITERALLY hundreds that were just stacked up in random piles. RANDOM TEETERING PILES, and others just SHOVED IN WHEREVER THEY WOULD FIT ON WHAT EVER BOOKSHELF THEY WOULD FIT ON. And I could never ever find anything when I wanted it.
3. The handy dandy spreadsheet I started keeping on my laptop ages ago (on the advice of several librarians – funny how many librarians are into Bollywood…) was like…hundreds of DVDs out of date. Because I am lazy and good for nothing.
4. Just to complicate everything even further, because I am kind of weird and obsessive about my Govinda dvd collection, I keep those dvds separate from all the others. Because they are special. I like to look at them and murmur “My preciousssss”. Okay, not really. Or do I?
If you look at this picture closely, you can see the total lack of any organisational theme or 'order'. SIGH.
No, I don’t.
Or do I?
SO ANYWAY, YOU CAN SEE HOW ORGANISING MY RIDICULOUS DVDS HAS TAKEN ME LITERALLY ALL DAY, and WRECKED MY KNEES AND MY BACK and MADE ME EXTREMELY GRUMPY. And I haven’t even DONE
my preciousssss my Govinda dvds yet.
THINGS I LEARNED TODAY:
1. I somehow have THREE copies – THREE COPIES – of Rang De Basanti. One has no subtitles. I DON’T EVEN REALLY LIKE THE MOVIE THAT MUCH! How did this happen?
2. I obviously have a thing for Shotgun Sinha. I have…more of his films than I thought I did. Like QUITE A LOT MORE.
3. I also have some stuff I totally got for free, and I totally need to start watching them. Like Hijack starring Shiney Ahuja. And EVERY EMRAAN HASHMI FILM I OWN (except obviously OUATIM).
4. Why haven’t I watched Kama Sutra yet? IT HAS REKHA AND SAYID FROM LOST IN IT! I’m thinking THAT’S TOTALLY WHY I BOUGHT IT!
5. I have (as far as I know) every available Govinda film but I haven’t watched nearly enough of them. I’m thinking I need…a project. A Govinda project…Watch this space (maybe).