Anjaana Anjaani (Siddharth Anand, 2010)

MEGA SPOILER ALERT GALORE

Anjaana Anjaani is based on an interesting, if by now slightly unsurprising premise: 2 strangers meet one night on San Francisco’s iconic Golden Gate bridge some bridge in New York that TOTALLY failed to make ANY KIND OF IMPRESSION ON ME AT ALL (see the comments) where each of them are trying to kill themselves. Their respective suicide attempts fail, and the two strangers go their separate ways, but when fate keeps throwing them together, and thwarting their suicide attempts, the two embark on a roadtrip together to tick off a list of final wishes before their final FINAL attempt on New Year’s Eve on the bridge where they met. EDIT: I wasn't completely on crack, I'm pretty sure they do end up in San Francisco at one point. I wasn't just totally conflating this film with Love Aaj Kal. Promise. (If you have to pick one though, here's a hint: pick the one that stars Saifu and Deeps, and PROMINENTLY FEATURES THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE).

In a parallel universe, somewhere light years away, Anjaana Anjaani is a deeply disturbing, hilariously dark comedy, twisted and ironic and cynical and wonderful.

Unfortunately, that’s not the film we get in this universe. 

For one thing - they don't even TRY looking suicidal.

First, let me tell you about the good. Priyanka Chopra is UNDENIABLY one of the most skilled actresses of her generation – there are a couple of scenes in Anjaana Anjaani where she is just riveting. Ranbir Kapoor is good too (not a surprise, the kid is a great actor from a long line of great actors) – but his role in this film is a) totally meh; b) relies way too heavily on gratuitous shirtlessness and intertextual references to his previous films – and it’s not actually like he has a huge back catalogue ; and c) nothing new or challenging for him, and marks the point for me where I am officially weary of seeing him play yet another variation on the disaffected urban youth he was in Wake Up Sid, Bachna Ae Haseeno, Raajneeti (to some extent) and Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani. Seriously…I’m feeling a touch of the Michael Cera about the kid, so hopefully Rockstar nips that in the bud quick smart.

BUT ANJAANA ANJAANI HAD THAT TRAILER THAT LOOKED SO CUTE WITH RANBIR DRESSED UP AS BATMAN AND FROLICKING IN LAS VEGAS AND ACTUALLY VOMITING RAINBOWS! WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

I’m so glad you asked.

1. Suicide – the premise the whole film is based on -  just isn’t funny.

Call me amazingly old fashioned and a total downer if you like, I’m sorry, but I’m just never going to find people trying to kill themselves hilarious. I certainly got the feeling that I was supposed to, watching Ranbir and Priyanka wrap each other in plastic wrap and stagger around the room pratfalling as each of them asphyxiated and then struggled to pull the plastic wrap off when they realized the suicide pact was turning into a murder pact and thus going all wrong. Suicide is just. Not. Funny. Certainly not presented as “screwball comedy”. There’s a difference between “black comedy” and “slapstick” and the gulf between the two is very, very, very, wide.

Sure, there’s an argument that it’s presented so callously and lightheartedly to show just how little regard Akash and Kiara have for their own lives; a point rammed home later in the film in a scene that channels pure oldschool Bollywood melodrama when a doctor (A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL!) mouths off resentfully about having saved Kiara’s life though she doesn’t deserve it since she’ll just try and kill herself again; “look at the poor cancer patient, now there’s a DESERVING patient even though he’s gonna die anyway, none of these stupid people who might actually have depression or something ew why would we waste our time treating them?” is what the doctor says, more or less. If you are depressed, do not watch Anjaana Anjaani, because it will not be good for your mental health.

But there’s also an argument that says that the whole flimsy suicide aspect of the story is an unnecessary plot device that is just thrown in as some kind of lame USP to bring the two strangers (who by the way, don’t even remain strangers, THEY KNOW EACH OTHER’S NAMES AND EVERYTHING, so add “MISLEADING TITLE” to my list of complaints) together and give them a reason to spend three weeks in each others company. Pretty sure there are a million other ways the script could have brought two strangers together on a bridge, and kept them together for the duration of the film. 


2. MISLEADING TITLE.
Anjaana Anjaani = Male stranger/ Female stranger. See above.

3. Look how liberal we are about sex, except when it comes to gays.

This film got a lot of positive attention from some quarters for its realistic depiction of premarital sex - not something dealt with very often in Hindi mainstream cinema. And actually, this aspect of it is one of the parts of the film I do like – I particularly like the way it deals with the relationship between Akash and Kiara and how their attraction blossoming into an implied one night stand changes things. I’ve read a bunch of positive reviews praising how no judgement is passed on women in the film for being sexual beings, there are no depictions of slutty Westerners seducing the men or evil rapists punishing women for their promiscuity.

But. Of course. A film so liberal about sexuality is too good to be true. Because of course, there is an extended sequence in the middle of the film set in a gay bar, played for laughs, in which Akash seduces and humiliates a gay man…so we will laugh? At the big tough man shaving a love heart into his chest hair? That’s funny because?

What would have been good is if that entire sequence had been left out, because it is entirely unnecessary, and is utterly, utterly cheap.

Unfortunately, that the two leads don’t sleepwalk their way through the film is the best I can do in terms of praising the film. Anjaana Anjaani is AMAZINGLY uneven, so while there are a few scenes I really do like, and moments I enjoy, and I do really like Priyanka and Ranbir (even though it seems like I just dissed him, Ranbir is still my third favourite Kapoor*) the final result is…a hot mess. A messy, timepass film at best.

*All-time Favourite Kapoor = Rishi; 2nd Favourite Kapoor: Lolo

Shakti: The Power

Shakti: The Power (Krishna Vamsi, 2002)

Shakti: The Power cold opens with the image of the empty, barren, Rajasthan desert, stretching on forever.  Then a closeup of a terrified woman (Karisma Kapoor), bloodied and screaming, before the titles.

Then, as if that were just an horrific nightmare, the film begins like any mainstream Bollywood film. Gorgeous, spunky N.R.I. Nandini (Karisma Kapoor), lives in Canada and, prompted by her uncles to find a husband, settles down with orphaned businessman Shekhar (Sanjay Kapoor). Together they have a son, Raja, and start building a happy life together – and all of this is pretty much conveyed through a “Look how happy their lives are” song.

Two things:

Sanjay Kapoor and Lolo are so sweet together. In a very short time, they establish a genuine bond onscreen, which is kind of important. Given…what will happen.

Enjoy this happiness while it lasts. Seriously. Because this film is about to get very, very nasty.

Things change…oh how they change, when Shekhar happens to see a news report about a bombing in a village in India, and…reacts kind of irrationally, insisting on going to India to check on his mother’s safety. THAT’S RIGHT, HIS MOTHER. 

It’s only when Shekhar, Nandini and their 3 year old child arrive in India that it becomes apparent that not only is Shekhar not an orphan, but has an entire (psychotic) extended family who are involved in extremely violent feudal warfare. And running the whole shebang is Shekhar’s father, Nansimha, king of the old-school violent psychos, played by Nana Patekar with terrifying conviction.

Check out the crazy eyes. TERRIFYING.

 

Shakti: The Power is essentially told from Nandini’s point of view – and because she is an N.R.I. who is largely westernized, this means the film narrative is very effective for Western viewers too – you’re getting the same experience that Nandini does. Unlike most mainstream Hindi films, India isn’t portrayed as the familiar realm of comforting tradition or exotic, glamorous spectacle. The sudden dislocation from Nandini’s home in Canada to Rajasthan is jarring and uncomfortable; India is dirty, loud, and alien; it’s violent – brutally violent; and the traditions are unfamiliar and alienating. Even a tradition meant to welcome Nandini into the community – taking her out of her normal Western clothes, dressing her up in a beautiful sari and having all the village women come and bless her with kumkum – leaves Nandini exhausted.

But at least she's got Shekhar...right? RIGHT? (ominous foreshadowing)

 

PLEASE BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY THAT THIS FILM IS NOT FOR THE FAINTHEARTED. 

If you only know Shakti: The Power as the film that contains the sizzling Shah Rukh/ Aishwarya item number Ishq Kamina:

then you possibly want to think again before watching. Because this film is BRUTALLY and REALISTICALLY violent, and often pointedly violent against women. 

Think about whether you want to see Nana Patekar systematically beating Karisma Kapoor, then kicking her repeatedly in the stomach as she lies bleeding and screaming on the ground, as a group of men, watch and do nothing. (If so, I suggest it not be the first Nana Patekar film you watch, because you will hate him forever if you haven't seen something else where he ISN'T a brutal psychopath).

Seeing Lolo get progressively bloodier doesn't get any easier.

 

The film has been criticized, and received pretty bad reviews, because of the uneven nature of the script. Shahrukh Khan, for example, appears in an extended special appearance in a typically comic SRK role, which is AMAZINGLY at odds with the harrowing nature of the rest of the film. It didn’t bother me so much though, and I’d argue that by the time he appears, you need something to lift the mood or you’re gonna switch the film off, or walk out. What DOES jar a little is the cracktastic song placement – Ishq Kamina, a total item number, follows possibly one of the bleakest points of the film and makes absolutely no sense. The ending is also a giant WTF moment that offers no resolution or closure. 

 MAKING UP FOR ALL THE FLAWS: PRAKASH RAJ! One million points in Shakti: The Power's favour!

Flaws aside, I find this film an incredibly interesting experiment in melding mainstream Hindi film conventions with edgier, socially and culturally relevant content. It may not have been a huge success at the box office (Ishq Kamina aside) but I think it’s important to watch films like this one – produced by a woman (the divine Sridevi) and heavily focused on woman’s issues. Though the extreme violence and abuse shown to women especially is incredibly hard to watch (I was nearly sick watching this film)

 Specifically: at this point, when Namsimha's wife sets herself alight

 

it’s not often in Hindi mainstream cinema that you get the sense that you are watching a recreation of someone’s reality – and honestly, that’s what was so upsetting and unsettling. The village life that Nandini enters into, where the same old-fashioned attitudes to women that seem quaint and chaste and lovely in the glamourous, fantasy Bollywood films, are stifling, literally keeping them prisoners, where violence is used to keep men and women in line – it’s horrific, but all too easy to believe that people live like that today, not just in India, but all over the world. 

 At the same time, there is plenty of room to portray female courage, strength and solidarity. 

 

This could easily be read as a film about domestic violence and unhealthy relationships; or it could be read as a commentary on the second class status of women in society. Or there are a number of other possible readings. It will make you question a few things, that’s for sure. But it’s undeniably hard to stomach. Unfortunately, that’s the reality.

Aashayein (Nagesh Kukunoor, 2010)

We’ve all seen the films about tragically dying heroes, right? There are a few of them out there. When I heard Aashayein was “the film where John Abraham dies of lung cancer” (a logical follow on to his role in No Smoking?) I thought I knew exactly what I was in for. A couple of hours of syrupy, melodramatic handwringing  from everyone involved (except the dyng person, who will remain stoic and brave until the end) over (once again) the evils of smoking, and how tragic it is that one so young (and so very, extremely, ridiculously) good-looking could be cruelly taken by fate. A tragic, sad tale, requiring at least a box of tissues on this end.

So, awesomely, I was almost completely wrong about Aashayein, or “Hopes”.

The very basic story of Aashayein is that…fate can be a fickle bitch. The same day that gambler Rahul Singh (John Abraham) makes a risky bet on a cricket game that pays off big time, making him a multi-millionaire,  and proposes to his long term girlfriend Nafisa (Sonal Sehgal), he finds out he has lung cancer.

Rahul is dying. He has three months to live.

And from this blunt revelation onwards, the film isn’t about anything except how Rahul comes to terms with the fact that he is going to die. 

John Abraham reportedly lost 17kg for this film, which was filmed in sequence (e.g first shot to last shot) so he could go from the picture of health, to convincingly ill. It's not nice to watch near the end.

To say Aashayein is realistic is kind of misleading – because the film combines magical realism, a whole lot of film-inspired references (Rahul is clearly a film lover and particularly enamoured with Indiana Jones) and conventional Bollywood style to present Rahul’s journey. This, though, is part of its wonderfulness – adding a certain ambiguity to events and leaving things a little bit open to interpretation. 

On some level, Aashayein is about the stories we tell ourselves to cope with the world – the realm of the mythological. Once we all told each other stories. Now we watch films. Rahul, in his illness, imagines himself as Indiana Jones to fight off his cancer.

Except…the Indy story is TOLD to Rahul  by a boy who the villagers claim is a messenger from God, who has never seen a movie, who has never heard of Indiana Jones.

What do we, as viewers, interpret from this? It’s purposely presented ambiguously, which is why I love it so much.

Emotionally, though, I felt like the film was spot on in its depiction of the often complex reactions of characters in grief. If you’ve ever had someone close to you be very ill, you will be able to identify with the characters in this film, who are refreshingly (and painfully) real. They laugh and make fun of themselves and others. They get angry and frustrated. They wonder what it was they did to deserve to get sick. They just want it to be over. They just want to be normal again.

The undeniable standout performances in this film come from John Abraham (one of my favourite actors - I love that he continues to take on interesting, offbeat roles like this, and I think this is one of his strongest acting performances to date) and from Anaitha Nair as Padma, a brittle, bratty, thoroughly unpleasant teenager who is dying of intestinal cancer, and who just wants a kiss from Rahul before she goes.

While the story of the film is that fate is a fickle bitch, be assured, the MESSAGE is far more uplifting: make the most of all the life you have, as exemplified in this GLORIOUS song (Ab Mujhko Jeena: "I am alive now") : 

Badle Ki Aag (Rajkumar Kohli, 1982)

Badle Ki Aag (or “Fire of Revenge”) is quite possibly THE most insanely melodramatic Hindi film I have EVER seen. You know that bit in Om Shanti Om, where Shahrukh Khan and Kirron Kher spoof Bollywood melodrama in the ‘melodramatic maa’ scene? Imagine a whole film done like that BUT TOTALLY SERIOUSLY, with the melodrama cranked up about a million notches.

That’s Badle Ki Aag. A film length, surprisingly gory, extremely emo soap opera. It is UTTERLY HILARIOUS and FULLY AWESOME. Packed full of often confusing masala plot twists (there is SO MUCH plot it got a little hard for my tired brain to keep track of who was secretly related to who; and who was thirsty for revenge from whom and for what pressing reasons – it’s okay though, it all becomes clear eventually), plus:  extremely emotional bandits, amazing motorcycle stunts,  filmi kids who are dubbed with ADULT VOICES (awesome!), a plucky prostitute with vengeance on her mind, a poisonous snake and a glass of milk!, Dharmendra in a variety of disguises, random people discussing the pros and cons of the death penalty and a surprisingly serious kind of thematic undercurrent regarding justice and law, men with hooks for hands,

 I don't make this stuff up!

EVIL TWINS!,

 Shockingly, I also realised, I've also become kind of FOND of Kader Khan. GASP. 

people who I initially mistook for EVIL TWINS and got quite confused about but who turned out to be A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON ALTOGETHER! (seriously, don’t ask, it’s kind of retarded but this song:

gave me a mini nervous breakdown before I realized I’m kind of a doofus and should watch films WEARING MY GLASSES); a surprise cameo that made me LITERALLY GASP IN DELIGHT! (I’m not gonna spoil it); and basically the joy, yes the  SHEER JOY of an ALL STAR CAST: Jeetendra + Dharmendra + Sunil Dutt plus Reena Roy, plus…oh so many more.

With a film like Badle Ki Aag, which is so amazingly plot heavy it makes my brain hurt, to try and recap the story would be insane. But here I go.  The central plotline revolves around the incredibly beautiful Geeta (Reena Roy)

 And yes, all the way through the film I kept thinking: "Sonakshi Sinha?" 

a prostitute who witnessed her family being murdered as a child, but who managed to escape. Since then, the fire of revenge has burned in her heart – she just needs to find the man who killed her family so she can kill him. Of course, the murderer is INEXTRICABLY LINKED to someone VERY IMPORTANT to Geeta. In a twisty, surprising way.

Geeta also manages to acquire three different suitors, all of whom want to marry her. Unfortunately, the suitors are all mortal enemies, not just because of their love for Geeta, but because Amar Verma(Jeetendra) is the local police captain who takes his job very seriously;

 Amar really does need to work on his pick up lines. 

Lakhan (Sunil Dutt) is a local Robin Hood type bandit – much beloved by the poor because he has a heart of gold and is truly a good person with decent morals, but wanted by the police (and particularly hunted by Amar) for his technical crimes;

 I can TOTALLY see the family resemblance in Sanjay now. IT IS AWESOME. 

and Sher “Shera” Singh, king of the bandits, who rules the region with force, violence, cunning and guile. He is besotted with Geeta and will stop at NOTHING until he gets what he wants.

 Dharam is FOREVER the coolest man EVER EVER EVER in Hindi films FULL STOP. 

Awesomely, the fact that the three suitors are mortal enemies doesn’t stop them from – and in fact, FACILITATES – getting together to sing a qawaali. YEP. Here’s Sunil, Dharam and Jeetu, bigging themselves up to each other, IN DISGUISE:

Will Geeta get her revenge? And who will she end up with? are really the two pressing central questions (just watch it, peeps. You’ll get your extremely satisfying answers). BUT OH GOSH, THERE’S SO MUCH MORE GOING ON IN THIS FILM! So. Much. TO LOVE.

1. The AWESOME HYPNOTIC POWER OF JEETU!

I love me some Jeetendra! Even though his character in this film is kind of a total dick, and is actually the last of the suitors you want Geeta to end up with (REALLY, Amar? After your initial TOTALLY ADORABLE wooing song, you revert to anal law enforcement stick-up-the-ass man and decide that, because Geeta is dancing at a party, she must automatically be a cheating whorish skank – seriously?

 What would have been awesome is if he had ripped his shirt off in Hulk-ish rage. But that did not happen.

The bandits Sher Singh and Lakhan look like waaay better bets) he actually brings the tragic hero BIG TIME and makes you feel sorry for him, and a little bit lusty. JEETENDRA IS BOLLYWOOD’S COLIN FIRTH, I have decided. And so it is written.

Of course, that’s when he’s not HYPNOTISING THE BEJEEZUS out of you with his scary killer eyes.

Jeetu really does have...a dark side.

2. BADLE KI AAG rewrites the traditional Bollywood cure for “female in a hypothermic coma”

It happens in Aa Gale Lag Jaa; it happens in Ganga Jamuna Saraswathi. I’m sure it happens in countless other Indian films that I HAVEN’T seen too: the female drowns and falls into a hypothermic coma; as demonstrated by Shashi Kapoor and Amitabh Bachchan in the aforementioned films, the established filmi medical solution is for the hero to strip the heroine of her clothes, strip himself of his own clothes and climb into bed with her to warm her up using his own body heat. While this IS an actual treatment for hypothermia in the real world, in the movies what is inevitably implied is that - presumably once the heroine regains consciousness and can give her consent (opinions vary wildly over this, but this is what I have always thought – Indian films I’ve seen tend to be fairly black and white over who is portrayed as a rapist and who isn’t) -  the nakedness and proximity OVERWHELMS the couple and premarital sex is inevitable. It’s just kind of…tacky. Since it implies that you can’t prevent someone from freezing to death without having to have sex with them too. Like, what happened to self control?

Badle Ki Aag – a lurid, pretty base, over the top film in so many ways, THRILLED me when it refused to follow this one lurid convention. When Geeta fell into the familiar hypothermic coma after falling in a river and it became obvious that Lakhan was going to have to revive her somehow my heart sank. And then my heart SANG! And I fell in joyous, effervescent love with Sunil Dutt, because I absolutely cannot separate actors from the characters they play. Look. LOOK AT THIS:

1. He keeps his own clothes on! 

2. HE WARMS HER THROUGH A BLANKET (so practical AND CHASTE)

This is right after he says "I respect a woman". SUNIL IS SUCH A GENTLEMAN!

3. Dharmendra is actually THE COOLEST GUY EVER

Exhibit A:

HE IS SHOWING OFF HIS "GUNS". COULD I LOVE THE MAN MORE? (No)

Exhibit B:

He actually * facepalms * when he realises he has drunkenly slept with the wrong woman.

Wait. I DO love him more!

Exhibit C:

MELODRAMATIC DISTURBING THREAT! Yes, Dharam-ji, YES!

Nobody can rock a headband and a handlebar mustache like Garam Dharam. Nobody can have a full-on emo nervous breakdown and make it look INSANELY AWESOME (as opposed to LAMELY TRAGIC) like Garam Dharam. Nobody can leap like this:

 and make it look hilariously hot.

ONLY THE COOLEST GUY EVER COULD PULL THAT OFF CONVINCINGLY.

4. THE WOMEN ARE KIND OF AWESOME.

I don’t know that describing the film as “feminist” is entirely accurate…but it’s as feminist as a film made in 1982 that’s all about which of three men a prostitute is gonna end up with can be.

But seriously, the women in this film aren’t really just the meek and mild, lay down and take what’s dished out to them types.

They are feisty fighters who are pretty proactive about getting what they want.

That “proactive” means “murderous” is a whole other issue.

Oh, and Nirupa Roy is awesome...

...right up to and EXCEPT FOR a supremely WTF moment at the end, when I was like ARE YOU KIDDING ME NIRUPA HAVE YOU LOST YOUR FREAKING MIND? But actually, the WTF-ness actually made the film even more enjoyable, because I was already cackling with laughter at everything else, so what the hell, Badle Ki Aag, throw more insanity at me.

5.  DID I MENTION THE EXTREME MELODRAMA?

Seriously you guys I am in love with Sunil Dutt now. My list of filmi boyfraaaands is spiralling out of control.

The State of the Blog

I promise, I'll be back soon. I PROMISE! Though I haven't had time to watch MUCH, I have managed to see Do Dooni Char, which I CANNOT WAIT to write up, because it is...just LOVELY; and Anjaana Anjaani, which may mark the end of my unconditional love of Ranbir. Yeah, that's right, I said it. 

BUT SEE, I'm still only teasing you because I still...don't really have the time to sit down and write about Bollywood. Arre mera dil! Mera dil mein dard hai! (or something roughly along those lines). But soon. SOON. I promise. It's not like I don't have a MASSIVE BACKLOG of films to write about. SIGH.

Anyway. What I am SUPER DUPER EXTREMELY EXCITED about, coming up in the New Year, is this. If you know me, AT ALL, you know that this is like...OMG, SUCH a big deal:

CHIIIIII CHIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!! Omg CHICHI! To say I am counting the days until I can OWN this (there are only 6 Govinda films I don't own, and that's because they are seemingly impossible to get) is a MASSIVE MASSIVE understatement.