Luck (Soham Shah, 2009)

MASSIVE SPOILERS AND GRAPHIC PICTURES COMING UP. SO, YOU KNOW – WARNING.

That nice boy Imran Khan.

So after his largely well-received debut as the chocolate boy romantic hero in the sweet, quirky Jaane Tu…Ya Jaane Na, Imran Khan obviously wanted to prove himself as an actor. Maybe he felt some backlash because (like so many Bollywood debutants) his route to stardom was linked with family connections (JT…YJN being his uncle Aamir Khan’s production) or maybe he just didn’t want to get pigeonholed into doing one kind of film for the rest of his working life. Or whatever, who knows what the reason is – the point I am slowly arriving at is, for whatever reason, the two films Imran Khan appeared in following JT…YJN: Kidnap and Luck are pretty radically different from the sweet romantic comedy of his debut. They are both also pretty universally regarded as MASSIVE FLOPS and kinda awful. (This is sad to me, because pretty much all evidence points to Imran Khan being one of the nicest, most normal guys in the industry, and I want him to do well. Fingers crossed for I Hate Luv Storys!)

So of course, with my questionable taste and knack for enjoying things everyone else runs away from, I SHAMELESSLY ADORE them both. Today, loyal and patient readers, I will explain to you why I love Luck. Basically it can be summed up in one sentence: this movie is on crack.

1. Sanjay Dutt pimps it hardcore

Seriously – he’s JUST SO COOL. The first song is set on a GIANT ROULETTE WHEEL with other appropriate props – giant dice, stacks of betting chips- with Sanju Baba surrounded by foxy ladies. THIS ACTUALLY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE REST OF THE MOVIE except setting up his character Moussa as totally the most badass cool dude and making me yell “OH MY GOD SANJAY DUTT IS SOOOOO COOL!” every time he swaggers onscreen (wearing silk and velvet. AWESOME).

 They don't set enough songs on big giant roulette wheels, for serious.

He's so pimp even his phone is blinging!

Boom!

2. Imran Khan, bless his heart, does his best to emote. But it's better when he's in a happy movie and he can smile. "Scared face" is amusing though. Tres amusant!

 I love Imran...

 I really do...

 ...but I think he should stick to chocolate boy romantic hero roles. OMG I CAN'T WAIT TO WRITE UP KIDNAP!

His character, seemingly moral and “the good guy”, when facing financial troubles at home, instead of doing what normal people do and seeking overtime at work or a new job, DECIDES TO ROB AN ATM MACHINE so he can buy a fake visa to go to America. GOOD PLAN IMRAN.  And then when that inevitably goes wrong because…he didn’t really plan it AT ALL – he ends up getting involved in Moussa’s luck game – where people bet on the ‘luck’ of individuals in a series of deadly games shown on the internet (a bit like Fear Factor but where the stakes are life and death).

3. Pretty much the entire Shortcut storyline. 
Shortcut is the shortest competitor in Moussa's deadly game and hails from Pakistan. If she wins (as the sole survivor) she dreams of buying a flashy car, and hiring someone to drive her (she jokes that she'd get The Major - Mithun Chakraborty - to do it) so she can pimp it like Sanjay Dutt and  'pump out Himesh's songs' as she drives around the desert.

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS TO SHORTCUT IN THE FILM:

Cramp can be easily avoided. Don't swim half an hour after eating.

There go my ROLLERSKATING DREAMS **see awesome alternative below

So imagine how much more awesome (and TRAGIC) it would be if Shortcut's original dream was to BUY ROLLERSKATES AND A BOOMBOX AND ROLLERSKATE AROUND PAKISTAN PUMPING OUT HIMESH'S TUNES.

Boom - Jaws shatters that dream. But the Major still has two legs! He can still rollerskate! He could skate around, pulling Shortcut all over the desert on a trolley. **see further awesome alternative movie idea below. Hint: Shortcut would ditch "the Major" nickname and call him "Jimmy" instead.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH PLEASURE THIS ALTERNATIVE FANTASY GIVES ME.

Seriously – and awesomely – in the actual film, in filmi REALITY, there’s ACTUALLY a song and a montage based around “remembering all the awesome times we had together when you had two legs and we were pretty much prisoners in a sick game run by a psycho pimp gangster on the internet”. The Major is kind of sick, to imagine this, I think:

 Hilariously, everything in the montage involves Shortcut falling over...

 ...wait for it...

 HA! She fell over! As if she only has one leg!

THANK YOU, LUCK! YOU ARE SO ON CRACK!

4. Speaking of alternatives:
 **this is aforementioned 2nd awesome theory**

I like to imagine The Major prefacing everything he says with "I am a disco dancer..."

 

5. CRACKTASTIC CLIMAX! ZOMG! 
A madman with a machine gun! FLAMES! Swordfighting! ALL TAKING PLACE ON A TRAIN WITH SOMEONE STRAPPED TO THE FRONT! Moussa (pimp it Sanjay Dutt OMG YOU ARE SO COOL) how could you have orchestrated something so INSANELY ridiculously POINTLESS and yet AMAZING? And if you have these life and death games ALL THE FRICKING TIME, on the fricking INTERNET, why are the authorities not onto you?

Why Bollywood?

So a few days ago, veracious posted a fantastic piece over on …so they dance that ended with this:

There's always going to be a million and one Indian films you could watch. But your choices are yours, as are your views. What we can give to each other is knowledge of what we've yet to look into, recommendations, and stories. And I think we should tell more stories of how we watch films, instead of just talking about the films, to give context to our own film experiences.

Since I started watching Hindi films, I have lost count of the number of times friends and family have asked me how I went from renting a single Bollywood film from the library on a whim one (fateful) weekend to owning over 200 dvds and having a Bollywood themed blog. Not to mention the countless Bollywood books, magazines, posters and various Teach Yourself Hindi manuals scattered around my room.

The short answer is that I don’t really know.

The more filmi, Bollywood answer is that it was always in my destiny. Bollywood and I were always going to meet, and fall in love…it was just a matter of time.

SOME STUFF THAT MAYBE PUTS MY RABID OBSESSION IN CONTEXT

My first film obsession was The Rocky Horror Picture Show, which I saw on my 13^th birthday. Musical? Tick. Wackadoo storyline? Tick. Crizzazy costumes? Tick. Campy (sort of) supervillains? Tick! (Also when I say I was obsessed with this film, I’m not exaggerating – I’ve seen it at least 50 times and still know huge chunks of it off by heart. Geeky right?) Let’s face it: Rocky Horror was preparing me to truly appreciate full on masala films (all it really needed was long lost brothers and it would have been perfect).

Similar deal with Jesus Christ Superstar – the first big stage show I remember seeing (I was 11). I am not AT ALL religious (but do find all religions fascinating – probably a strong reason for the Bollywood love) and a shameful amount of my scant knowledge of Christianity comes from knowing the lyrics to Jesus Christ Superstar songs off by heart. Anyway – the point is: tragic tale, religion, glitzy costumes, dancing and singing = AWESOMETUDE TO THE MAX. Obviously that left an impression on eleven year old me.  

I’m a big filmi dork who loves learning new stuff – I even have an Honours degree in Media Studies and Communications, and so I spent four years of my life passionately studying (mainly) all things related to cinema. Discovering Bollywood was like discovering an alternate universe with SO MUCH LEARNING TO BE DONE. Not only is there so much basic knowledge to be gleaned, like who’s who, but there are so many interesting things coming up like copyright issues (with Bollywood regularly ‘taking inspiration’ from Hollywood) and the battle re: royalties for songwriters, and obviously…Hindi.

When I was at uni, I learned how to analyze the crap out of a film –within about six months, watching films stops being very enjoyable (and after three years of scrutinizing films in minute detail for every nuance of meaning and symbolism it’s no huge surprise I ended up focusing on the music industry for my thesis). With Bollywood, what I have discovered is the value and sheer joy of pure entertainment. That’s not to say that I don’t look for deeper meaning sometimes, or that it’s not there to find. But one of the things I truly love about mainstream Hindi films is how they place the highest value on PAISA VASOOL – giving the audience their money’s worth.  (Just because it might explain why I am so interested in what entertains people and why, it’s probably worth knowing that my Honour’s thesis was on the dichotomy between art and commerce, and how different groups - e.g. fans, artists, critics, industry groups define ‘popular’. Usually popular = commercial = good with fans, bad with critics; and ‘alternative’ = usually associated with non-commercial ventures, very niche fandoms, adored by critics and unsuccessful commercially).

I’ve mentioned a few times now that the first Hindi film I ever watched was Om Shanti Om – my blog is named Shahrukh is Love because Rukhie was like my gateway drug into the crazy maze that is Bollywood. I rented it on a whim and just fell in love…but it was the second film I ever saw, a film I picked up at a bookshop to test if my Om Shanti Om love was just a fluke, that really cemented the obsession. I didn’t know anything about Kuch Naa Kaho when I sat down to watch it – didn’t recognize Abhishek from his cameo in Om Shanti Om and wasn’t that familiar with Aishwarya Rai – but it was different enough from OSO (a less flashy,  sweet, funny romantic comedy as opposed to OSO’s over the top self referential melodrama) to hook me into the variety that Bollywood could offer. And there was this. The moment, definitively, that I fell in love:

This is how you do it...

Hadh Kar Di Aapne (Manoj Agarwal, 2000)

It’s a good thing I have a blog.

I have a feeling that if I try and explain to anyone in the real non-Bollywood obsessed world the intense love I feel for this film, they’ll think I’ve gone retarded. I was literally SHAKING with laughter. I feared I might crack a rib! After a long horrible day, this movie was glorious, silly medicine. Or maybe, like all my friends and family think, my sick preference for “so bad they’re good” movies IS making me cracked.

CHI CHI gives it CRAZY EYES! As if there wasn't enough to love about this film!

A BUNCH OF THINGS TO FEVERISHLY LOVE ABOUT HADH KAR DI AAPNE AND A COUPLE OF TROUBLESOME THINGS TO FASTFORWARD THROUGH OR WILFULLY IGNORE:

Okay, the troublesome. Forewarned is forearmed.

1. There’s a point in this film where Rani is dancing with two guys and Govinda gets jealous. And initially, I thought Govinda went up and hit one of the guys. On rewatching that scene…I think he slaps Rani. Not so cool.
2. BLACKFACE. There are 2 scenes that are COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY and REALLY RACIST. Like it’s not bad enough to have people in blackface, this film gives them dialogue that goes something like “ooga booga ooga booga”. Anything good I say about this film is based on me essentially cutting this scene out in my mind and pretending it doesn’t exist. Because it’s unforgiveable, really.

Now the good.

Govinda plays Raj Malhotra, Detective No. 1, who is enlisted to go on a bus tour of Europe to spy on his friend’s wife, Anjali, to try and prove that she is a cheating ho’ so his friend can get a divorce. Little does Raj know that Anjali (Rani Mukerjee) is actually only IMPERSONATING his friend’s wife.

Actually, the plot doesn’t really matter, because obviously

a)    Govinda and Rani start out hating each other

b)    They end up loving each other

c)     Nothing that happens in this film plot-wise really makes a lot of sense, beyond making the most of Rani and Chi Chi’s chemistry and exploiting Chi Chi’s awesome talent. YOU GET A LOT OF GOVINDA FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT DOLLAR IN THIS FILM.

Awesomeness Factor 1: MESH TEE FTW!

OMIGOD THE COSTUMES ARE INSANE YO!

Check out Chi Chi. Yes, that is a mesh shirt. Yes, he has moobs.

You better believe that the way he shakes those moobs is HYPNOTIC.

Same song, costume change…SILVER TEESHIRT!

Everything about this picture is ridiculousawesome.

When such awesomeness exists in the first 5 minutes, you KNOW you are in for a treat.

Awesomeness Factor 2: It’s a dance revolution.

Obviously, anywhere that Chi Chi is busting a move, I am there. I don’t think I need to explain any further but here, have a glorious treat because it’s CHIIIIIIIII CHIIIIIIIIIII.

Awesomeness Factor 3: Govinda-rama!

 Grandad Chi Chi

 Grandma Chi Chi

 Amazing Devdas-alike drunk gun-toting Cousin Chi Chi

Daughter Chi Chi. She's only 36. And her measurements are 36 - 36 -36. HA!

 Pretty Aunty Chi Chi! Weirdly reminds me of Juhi Chawla. Is that blasphemy?

I mean, like, holy shit! I would rather poke my eyes out with sharpened sticks than watch that horrific Eddie Murphy movie where he plays the entire fat family…but CHI CHI? SCHO SCHWEEEEEEET (he makes a pretty lady)! Does that make me a hypocrite, or is it just that Govinda is talented and charismatic and Eddie Murphy….meh?

But even Rani gets in on the sweet cross-dressing action (years before Dil Bole Hadippa!)

I am questioning my life choices.

Awesomeness Factor 4: It’s like, totally realistic.

What other film has a heroine who just casually rocks it out on a mandolin (as you do, especially on holiday)

 Rock on!

JUST SO the protagonists can have this charged exchange:

Awesomeness Factor 5: TRUE ROMANCE

You know all the rumours about how Rani and Govinda had a steamy affair, back in the day? Maybe they were just rumours, based on how Rani signed like, 3 movies (including this one) in a row with Chi Chi. Maybe people just saw their UNDENIABLY AMAZING CHEMISTRY and jumped to conclusions. Maybe it was really all innocent. No matter what you think, I am convinced they kiss for real at the end of this film. CONVINCED. When they are on the plane at the end and he says “I LOVE YOU” to her, with LOVE IN HIS EYES…hmmm. Maybe Govinda is just a really good actor.

You totally know you would.

Awesomeness Factor 6: Okay so maybe I’m just a bit obsessed with Chi Chi.

All of Raj’s little tics: how he says “Re-A-lly?”; how he gets hysterical hiccups; how he gives himself motivational speeches in mangled English: “Raj, you are great!”; how he sings randomly to himself all the time (but Govinda seems to do this in like, every film he’s in, right?); how his pick-up technique is literally poking a woman. Hahah which brings me to the subtitles that appeal to the 12 year old in me (I never claimed to be mature, which is probably why this film cracks me up so much):
 

Hahahahaha. Still funny.

Awesomeness Factor 7: SAUCY

Rani gets about as close to doing a striptease as a mainstream Hindi comedy is gonna let her get:

Phwoooar!

This one is worth watching, Govinda lovers. Re-A-lly!

 Bonus MESH TEE pic. BECAUSE I CAN.

Shabd (Leena Yadav, 2005)

Shabd (or “Word” if my toddler-level Hindi serves me correctly) is the kind of film you’re either going to fall in fascinated love with, or turn off half-way through in bored, frustrated disgust. (To the people out there that hate this film – I’m not judging, because I can TOTALLY see why someone would). By no means is this your run-of-the-mill, mainstream Bollywood fare, regardless of the cheesy tagline on the cover proclaiming “The world’s biggest love story” and the irritating, charisma-free presence of Zayed Khan.

 Whaddya mean I'll never be leading man material?

If you’re going to watch Shabd, what you need to know is that it has more in common with art films or experimental cinema than, say, a riotous Manmohan Desai masala flick aimed at entertaining the masses.

So anyway, I fell in fascinated love with it. And NOT JUST because it stars Sanjay Dutt as a smoking hot intellectual.

He knows he's hot.

The film opens with an author, Shaukat Vashist, being awarded the Booker Prize for his first novel, and being showered with critical and public acclaim. Unfortunately for Shaukat, when he publishes his second book, it is universally panned, with the main criticism being that his story isn’t ‘real’ enough.

That's what you call a bad review.

Poor Shaukat is crushed and doesn’t write a thing for two years, until an offhand comment from his beautiful wife Antara (Aishwarya Rai) inspires him to try writing again.

Antara, before her lunatic husband starts playing lunatic mind games with her.

HERE’S WHERE IT GETS TRICKY…AND AWESOME.

…because the ‘story’ from here on in pretty much depends on how you, the viewer, interpret the ambiguous events playing out onscreen. The film is purposefully muddy – and this is the reason you’ll either love or hate Shabd. So many questions are raised. So many questions.

Does Shaukat, facing the worst writer’s block of his life and with critics damning his work as ‘unreal’, draw his inspiration for his new novel from the events of his real life, manipulating his wife into a one-sided affair with photography teacher Yash (Zayed Khan) to give him more fodder for his fiction?

...maybe if I stand here for a while, people will THINK I am the leading man. Think charismatic, Zayed.

Or does Shaukat possess a more mystical power, and have the god-like ability to manifest events in his real life by first writing them in his novel?

 Ominous god-like shot.

At its core, is this really just a film about a marriage in trouble? Why does Shaukat – who clearly loves his wife, and she clearly loves him – push Antara towards another man? To test her love for him? Because he thinks the friendship will bring her happiness and he trusts their marriage is strong enough to survive any flirtation? Or is there a more sinister reason, rooted in his need to create ‘real’ fiction to silence the critics, and his apparent inability to live outside of his head?

"So, if you had to pick between me or Zayed Khan?" "...Abhishek".

So is it about the creative process, and the artist’s struggle in the world to walk a fine line between satisfying a creative impulse and satiating the varying needs and wants of the audience and critics? Is the critical mistake at the heart of Shaukat’s tale that he doesn’t remain true to his own inner voice, but panders to what he thinks his audience wants: a ‘real’ story, hence making it all the more unreal?

You can see how you could watch this film 27 times and get 27 different interpretations.

So many questions: no concrete answers. Only hints: throwaway lines, clever angles, and symbols.

Symbols abound in the film for those looking for them.

Words. Everywhere, words.

Subtle.

Puppets.

WHICH ONE is the puppet though?

A conductor’s baton.

Again...ominous.

Doubles.

This would be the point in the film where I'm betting detractors lose patience and switch off. Not me though. Two Sanju Babas? YES, THANK YOU!

Antara is doubled as the heroine of Shaukat's novel - and here we see her twice.

Smoke (and mirrors).

 I fear for Sanjay Dutt's lungs.

And what the hell does this mean?

Creeeeeepy.

For people wanting instant answers and a nice neat ending, Shabd is probably the wrong film for you. But if you enjoy riddles, teasing out and puzzling over what it could all possibly mean – and if ultimately not knowing for sure isn’t going to drive you crazy – then Shabd  is a refreshing change of tone in an industry that all too often can seem stuck on one note.