There are films with substance, that tackle The Big Issues and provoke intense intellectual discussions and debates; and then there are films that open with a heroic cop leaping out of a COFFIN that LITERALLY fell off the back of a truck to singlehandedly tackle a team of terrorists in a village market. Like so:
Do I even need to tell you that Haathkadi, starring my Hero No. 1, Govinda, given an awesome entrance like that, is INSANELY ENTERTAINING? Elsewhere on the web, people have accused this film of being something of a hot mess. A spectacular disaster. Wrecktacular, even.
THOSE PEOPLE COULD NOT BE MORE WRONG. What Haathkadi lacks objectively in…substance, it makes up for in SHEER AWESOME ENTERTAINMENT VALUE, from start to finish.
Haathkadi is the story of ace cop Suraj Chauhan (Govinda) who is heroic, honest, and patriotic – qualities that put him firmly at odds with the local corrupt politician, Home Minister Bhavani Shankar (Shakti Kapoor) and the dodgy D.I.G. (Kiran Kumar). When Suraj’s brother is murdered by Chakku Pandey – a contract killer employed by Shankar, Suraj vows to obtain vengeance on his brother’s killers.
So far, so humdrum Bollywood action movie plot, right?
IT GETS WAY MORE AWESOME.
Because Suraj has a lookalike.
Check out the SWEET Rajni-Saar tee!
Most awesomely, Rajnikant DOES fight like THE Rajnikant. He also dances Southie style. IT IS VERY COOL ATTENTION TO DETAIL.
Yes, THAT Rajnikant.
Factor up this movie’s awesometude factor TEN MILLION POINTS because:
b) Double Govinda = EXPONENTIAL JOY OVERLOAD
So obviously, through a convoluted series of events, Suraj and Rajnikant’s paths cross (spoiler: they meet in JAIL – Suraj is wrongly imprisoned by the corrupt Home Minister for murder; Rajnikant, WAY MORE AWESOMELY, is there for CHOPPING A ROWDY’S HAND OFF) and together they plot to bring Evil Shakti Kapoor to justice. Cue ACTION PACKED climax with a bunch of explosions and punchups and a HOMEMADE MACHETE and a child suspended upside down from a burning beam. It is TOTAL. PAISA. VASOOL.
Along the way, there are GLORIOUS little gems such as:
A lot (and I DO mean a lot) of moob-age. And I say that as a big fan of the moob.
Govinda in DISGUISE! I am certain I have written about my weird love of Chichi playing dress-up before. This film ticks that box, with the added bonus of both Suraj and Rajnikant dressing up AT THE SAME TIME. Crack-tasm.
Songs that are TOTAL AND UTTER NONSENSE (because of CENSORSHIP. LML stood for "let's make love" but different lyrics were dubbed over the top. Even knowing that, the song still makes no sense).
Suraj dishooming a rowdy by kicking a shoe at his face.
Filmi reference! CHUNKEY PANDEY ILU!
The supreme WTF dream-sequence moment featuring Govinda dressed…like this:
A super saucy episode where Govinda runs an icecube up Shilpa Shetty’s body with his lips. STEAMY.
And this. OMG IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHY THIS IS AWESOME, GO AND WATCH PYAAR KARKE DEKHO right now (one of my favourite Govinda fillums EVER):
I won’t spoil the end of the film for you, but when I say IT TOOK MY BREATH AWAY with its fresh approach to patriotism, and also made me cackle in glee and SHEER CRACKTASTIC AWE…it is an understatement.
Oh, you know what? Screw it.
GIANT SPOILER ALERT!
In case you can’t tell: I FREAKING ADORE THIS FILM.